BoomerHumor :)

Gen_Ann_DunwoodyGeneral Dunwoody…Feminism at its Finest?

For the first time in US history, a woman (and a Boomer, of course…) has been sworn in as a four-star general.

Lt. General Ann E. Dunwoody is now General Dunwoody, and she will head the Army Materiel Command, which outfits and arms soldiers throughout the Army.

In other words, she’ll make sure the troops’ uniforms are washed pressed and in their closet, and that their backpacks are filled with all the important things they’ll need before they leave the bunkhouse…

She’ll be the Army’s chief…mommy… what a step forward….

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voting notThe Top Ten Reasons Those Who Choose Not to Vote are Right!

  1. If you don’t vote because you think it won’t matter anyway, now you can be sure of it!
  2. Waiting in line to vote for the person who will do silly things like, oh, set our nation’s foreign policy in a world that gets smaller and more uncertain each day, will make you late for happy hour
  3. Because 74% of those polled think we’re supposed to do what the President says, not the other way around, so who needs to vote when we live in a monarchy?
  4. You have no idea what’s going on in your community, state, or country, anyway, so this is a perfect way to show it!
  5. If you don’t vote because you don’t like the choices, not voting certainly get’s the word out for you!
  6. The right to vote is just sooooo last millennium….
  7. The people who get voted in never get voted out when they perform badly, so, see, it really doesn’t matter…
  8. All that paying attention you’d have to do just makes you queezy and that’s not good when you have no health care
  9. Here in Florida, your ballot will go missing, you’ll be turned away because you’re mistaken for a felon, you are a felon who’s paid society’s dues but can’t vote anyway, or the voting machines probably won’t work, so really…why bother?
  10. The Supreme Court decides the winner these days so it’s taken care of for you!

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broken wine glassHere’s to a Finely Aged Boomer Whine!

It’s the article by Kathleen Norton out of Arkansas – and she’s just getting started!  I’ll be following up with more of my own, after this group of words from Kathleen!

http://www.baxterbulletin.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080821/COMMUNITIES/808210315

Enjoy, Boomers!  And for sure, feel free to post your own whines here after reading hers!

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my favorite thingsThen, Of Course, There’s Our “Favorite Things“…

Our generation will not age either quickly or quietly.

But whether we like it or not, our bodies, and our mellowing sensibilities, will always belie our intentions.

So, here’s Julie Andrew’s version of “My Favorite Things” from her iconic movie “The Sound of Music”, written and sung by her at Radio City Music Hall on her 69th birthday (I know, I know, that means she’s not a Boomer…well I shall dub her an official Honorary Boomer – she has all the right stuff, and we definitely want to hijack these lyrics for ourselves!).  To heighten your pleasure (and perhaps the amazement of your neighbors…), sing them out loud for fullest effect:

“Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad!”

Verse Two:

“Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,

And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I’ve had,

and then I don’t feeeeeeel, so bad!

Julie, we at the beginning of our creaky-years thank you!

2 thoughts on “BoomerHumor :)

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